The emotional effects of remaining poor

This is the rant that resulted from my last post-


I know I shouldn't dwell. But, I do. Every day - every single day, I worry about finances. I hate the fact that I will never have the opportunity to "get ahead".

I hate the fact that I am thinking about adding hours to my work schedule, because I need to get health insurance, need to make more money, but am afraid to make more, because I have to remain poor to remain a live - unless that money is from hours that get me insured.

I hate that I can't afford to actually leave my job and just relax and take care of myself, while I fight my cancer, and that I will have to work until I'm almost dead, because once I receive my retirement, I will not qualify for my govt. insurance.

I hate that I can not afford to do anything on my bucket list (except get my house clean - and really, how exciting is that?)

I hate that I am so afraid and worried all the time. All the time. All the time!